25 random things chain and other Facebook abnormalities

Facebook and I have a love hate relationship. I like it because It's a good way to stay in touch with people since I live approximately 2500 miles away from my birth place and home town, I can see what people are up to, look at their pictures, make fun of their misfortunes, etc. But a lot of the stuff on there is just too much for me. I get a lot of what used to be chain e-mails back in the day but are now chain memos, postings or whatever they want to call them. ( side note: Another thing that I just learned about if text message chains. My sister told me about it over IM today.(side note to previous side note: that's how we talk, and we only talk about randomness.) I've only received a few of them, but apparently it's very popular. I think that the only reason that I don't get them is because I'm more removed from High School than she is because this is her 2nd year of "freedom".)

We all remember the infamous chain e-mail from our high school days. "You better fill this shit out and send it off to 7 or more of your friends because if you don't you'll go blind, your genitals will fall off/close for business forever and your new puppy will die of AIDS". Does that jog your memory? God, that really brings me back to the late 1990's/early 2000's a time when all that shit was serious business (like the Internet, Dever). Now it's not quite so serious, at least to me. However, I have noticed that a lot of my friends on Facebook have been bitten by this bug and chose to pass on it's disease while telling me 25 "random" things about them in hopes that I too will fall for the trick. In the words of Lee Corso "not so fast, my (Facebook) friend".

If you want to know 25 random things about me, just ask. I probably have one of the most random minds and lives of people you'll ever meet. I'm not a "one-upper"(Farva, I'm looking at you buddy) but I'm pretty confident that I can match if not top your 25 most random facts if I really wanted to. They may not be as cool as your facts, but they will probably be more random. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in my short lifetime, been to a lot of weird places and have definitely met my fair share of weirdos. Now, my stories aren't Tucker Max random, I don't think anyone's are, but they are random none the less.

My point is(well, one of them), I do and I don't like the impersonal nature of Facebook. It's one or more levels down from texting or BB messaging(which I admit, I use frequently). If you want to tell somebody something, just tell them. If you want me to tell you random things about me, just ask me and I'll tell you if I want to. But if you think I feel obligated to tell you things because you toldme and 24 other people via a Facebook memo, then you sir/madam are sadly mistaken.

Other things that I don't want you to send me via Facebook or any other methods include:

-Vampires vs. Zombies or any other Nerd/Goth kid thing - Simply put: not interested. I don't fall under either one of those groups.

-An Invitation to your "cause" - If I cared I would already be a member. Just because you think No Child Left Behind (or whatever else) is a good idea it doesn't mean that I agree and it doesn't make you right either.

-"We're Related" - Most people already know we're related, or maybe I don't want them to know(kidding?) that we are. the point is, it's unnecessary.

-"XYZ has sent you a drink!" - I like drinks, especially free ones. But these are not real drinks and I do not drink apple martinis. You also could have slipped something in my drink too and I don't want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. I'll pass, thank you.

- "Little Green Patch" - Seriously? Adding something to your Facebook profile does not help save the earth. I'm not exactly sure, but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that it actually hurts the Earth. There, are you happy now? You're killing my planet! Now get back in your Prius and kindly fuck off.

Am I missing anything here?

I would like to conclude by telling everyone 25 UNrandom things about myself.

1. I am a guy
2. I am white.
3. I wear shoes
4. I wear socks when I wear shoes
5. I also wear pants
6. I wear a belt to hold up said pants
7. My dog is black
8. I live on Earth
9. I eat food
10. I drink water
11. Me being white = my family members are also white
12. I live in a house
13. My house has at least 1 toilet
14. My house also has at least 1 bedroom
15. My bedroom has a bed in it
16. I sleep in the bed that is in my bed room
17. Sometimes I cover up with blankets
18. Sometimes I do not cover up with blankets
19. I use the restroom when needed
20. I have a job
21. my job pays me every two weeks
22. I get mail delivered to my house
23. Sometimes i send mail FROM my house
24. Sometimes I listen to music
25.I have two hands that each have 4 fingers and one thumb.

Do you realize how absurd all of this is?!?!

-Dave

p.s. this is not meant to offend any of my friends or family. I'm just venting. Please don't take it personally.