I kid mt buddy Rob that the reason I don't do drugs(i.e. smoke the devil's lettuce) is that I don't need any help in the random/stupid ideas department. My brain works like no one else I know, meaning that I'm always zoning out, thinking about random stuff and inappropriate thoughts.
I've been thinking about taking an entire day and devoting it to my Facebook status. What do I mean? Well, that's easy. I want to post every single thing I do.
5:45 - Dave just hit snooze
5:55 - Dave just hit snooze again
6:05 - Fuck you blackberry, I'm awake.
6:10 - grinding coffee beans for the fresh coffee kick. fuck Folgers, whole bean is the way to go
6:20 - one cup down, time to take a shit
6:30 - still reading mens health on the toilet
6:35 - fuck reading I'm gonna play brickbreaker while i take a dump
6:38 - wiping
6:39 - wiping again
6:45 - shower, mostly scratching balls with soap
6:50 - getting dressed, but mostly watching sportcenter
I think you get the idea. I'll admit, I update my Facebook status entirely too much. For this I blame Facebook for Blackberry. But what I do not do is update it with every little thing like some people. Or put what I call the "feel sorry for me" post on there. Here's an example of that "bla bla bla my bf/gf dumped me, I hate my life, no one will ever love me again :( :( :( "
They didn't love you in the first place, shut the hell up and stop being an attention whore. The only reason people post shit like this is so that people will be all like "OMG WHAT A JERK!!!" and "DON'T WORRY, WE STILL LUV U! LOL!". Idiots.
And another thing "LOL" is stupid, but not as stupid as "LMAO" of the infamous "ROFL". I have never rolled on the floor laughing... while sober. Stop lying and stop contributing to your friend's feel sorry for me moment.
Am i just an asshole? At the age of 26 am I out of touch? I'd like to think it's just because I'm not a complete moron. The next generation is so fucked. We better fix all the problems that we have NOW because these tards are useless.
Speaking of useless - TWITTER. Really, you tweet? Why? Do you have Facebook? What's the point of having both?
Someone told me you could link your Twitter account to your Facebook account and that somehow made sense to them. Why would I need two things to perform the same function? Actually, Twitter isn't even on the same level. It's like pulling out your Facebook status and making it one singular application. It's retarded.
I understand twitter if your what I would consider to be an important person, or in the media, etc. If you actually have important things to say then knock yourself out. But people like you and me do not need twitter. Nothing we do is that cool or important that other people need to follow us. That's another thing wrong with the next generation, they think they're the most interesting and important people in the world when in all reality they haven't nor will they ever do anything productive. We better cure cancer and AIDS now, because these jackoffs have to tweet something real quick.
8:31 - finish blog post, need to dump again.
Fuck it. I'm out.
-Dave
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
25 random things chain and other Facebook abnormalities
Facebook and I have a love hate relationship. I like it because It's a good way to stay in touch with people since I live approximately 2500 miles away from my birth place and home town, I can see what people are up to, look at their pictures, make fun of their misfortunes, etc. But a lot of the stuff on there is just too much for me. I get a lot of what used to be chain e-mails back in the day but are now chain memos, postings or whatever they want to call them. ( side note: Another thing that I just learned about if text message chains. My sister told me about it over IM today.(side note to previous side note: that's how we talk, and we only talk about randomness.) I've only received a few of them, but apparently it's very popular. I think that the only reason that I don't get them is because I'm more removed from High School than she is because this is her 2nd year of "freedom".)
We all remember the infamous chain e-mail from our high school days. "You better fill this shit out and send it off to 7 or more of your friends because if you don't you'll go blind, your genitals will fall off/close for business forever and your new puppy will die of AIDS". Does that jog your memory? God, that really brings me back to the late 1990's/early 2000's a time when all that shit was serious business (like the Internet, Dever). Now it's not quite so serious, at least to me. However, I have noticed that a lot of my friends on Facebook have been bitten by this bug and chose to pass on it's disease while telling me 25 "random" things about them in hopes that I too will fall for the trick. In the words of Lee Corso "not so fast, my (Facebook) friend".
If you want to know 25 random things about me, just ask. I probably have one of the most random minds and lives of people you'll ever meet. I'm not a "one-upper"(Farva, I'm looking at you buddy) but I'm pretty confident that I can match if not top your 25 most random facts if I really wanted to. They may not be as cool as your facts, but they will probably be more random. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in my short lifetime, been to a lot of weird places and have definitely met my fair share of weirdos. Now, my stories aren't Tucker Max random, I don't think anyone's are, but they are random none the less.
My point is(well, one of them), I do and I don't like the impersonal nature of Facebook. It's one or more levels down from texting or BB messaging(which I admit, I use frequently). If you want to tell somebody something, just tell them. If you want me to tell you random things about me, just ask me and I'll tell you if I want to. But if you think I feel obligated to tell you things because you toldme and 24 other people via a Facebook memo, then you sir/madam are sadly mistaken.
Other things that I don't want you to send me via Facebook or any other methods include:
-Vampires vs. Zombies or any other Nerd/Goth kid thing - Simply put: not interested. I don't fall under either one of those groups.
-An Invitation to your "cause" - If I cared I would already be a member. Just because you think No Child Left Behind (or whatever else) is a good idea it doesn't mean that I agree and it doesn't make you right either.
-"We're Related" - Most people already know we're related, or maybe I don't want them to know(kidding?) that we are. the point is, it's unnecessary.
-"XYZ has sent you a drink!" - I like drinks, especially free ones. But these are not real drinks and I do not drink apple martinis. You also could have slipped something in my drink too and I don't want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. I'll pass, thank you.
- "Little Green Patch" - Seriously? Adding something to your Facebook profile does not help save the earth. I'm not exactly sure, but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that it actually hurts the Earth. There, are you happy now? You're killing my planet! Now get back in your Prius and kindly fuck off.
Am I missing anything here?
I would like to conclude by telling everyone 25 UNrandom things about myself.
1. I am a guy
2. I am white.
3. I wear shoes
4. I wear socks when I wear shoes
5. I also wear pants
6. I wear a belt to hold up said pants
7. My dog is black
8. I live on Earth
9. I eat food
10. I drink water
11. Me being white = my family members are also white
12. I live in a house
13. My house has at least 1 toilet
14. My house also has at least 1 bedroom
15. My bedroom has a bed in it
16. I sleep in the bed that is in my bed room
17. Sometimes I cover up with blankets
18. Sometimes I do not cover up with blankets
19. I use the restroom when needed
20. I have a job
21. my job pays me every two weeks
22. I get mail delivered to my house
23. Sometimes i send mail FROM my house
24. Sometimes I listen to music
25.I have two hands that each have 4 fingers and one thumb.
Do you realize how absurd all of this is?!?!
-Dave
p.s. this is not meant to offend any of my friends or family. I'm just venting. Please don't take it personally.
We all remember the infamous chain e-mail from our high school days. "You better fill this shit out and send it off to 7 or more of your friends because if you don't you'll go blind, your genitals will fall off/close for business forever and your new puppy will die of AIDS". Does that jog your memory? God, that really brings me back to the late 1990's/early 2000's a time when all that shit was serious business (like the Internet, Dever). Now it's not quite so serious, at least to me. However, I have noticed that a lot of my friends on Facebook have been bitten by this bug and chose to pass on it's disease while telling me 25 "random" things about them in hopes that I too will fall for the trick. In the words of Lee Corso "not so fast, my (Facebook) friend".
If you want to know 25 random things about me, just ask. I probably have one of the most random minds and lives of people you'll ever meet. I'm not a "one-upper"(Farva, I'm looking at you buddy) but I'm pretty confident that I can match if not top your 25 most random facts if I really wanted to. They may not be as cool as your facts, but they will probably be more random. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in my short lifetime, been to a lot of weird places and have definitely met my fair share of weirdos. Now, my stories aren't Tucker Max random, I don't think anyone's are, but they are random none the less.
My point is(well, one of them), I do and I don't like the impersonal nature of Facebook. It's one or more levels down from texting or BB messaging(which I admit, I use frequently). If you want to tell somebody something, just tell them. If you want me to tell you random things about me, just ask me and I'll tell you if I want to. But if you think I feel obligated to tell you things because you toldme and 24 other people via a Facebook memo, then you sir/madam are sadly mistaken.
Other things that I don't want you to send me via Facebook or any other methods include:
-Vampires vs. Zombies or any other Nerd/Goth kid thing - Simply put: not interested. I don't fall under either one of those groups.
-An Invitation to your "cause" - If I cared I would already be a member. Just because you think No Child Left Behind (or whatever else) is a good idea it doesn't mean that I agree and it doesn't make you right either.
-"We're Related" - Most people already know we're related, or maybe I don't want them to know(kidding?) that we are. the point is, it's unnecessary.
-"XYZ has sent you a drink!" - I like drinks, especially free ones. But these are not real drinks and I do not drink apple martinis. You also could have slipped something in my drink too and I don't want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. I'll pass, thank you.
- "Little Green Patch" - Seriously? Adding something to your Facebook profile does not help save the earth. I'm not exactly sure, but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that it actually hurts the Earth. There, are you happy now? You're killing my planet! Now get back in your Prius and kindly fuck off.
Am I missing anything here?
I would like to conclude by telling everyone 25 UNrandom things about myself.
1. I am a guy
2. I am white.
3. I wear shoes
4. I wear socks when I wear shoes
5. I also wear pants
6. I wear a belt to hold up said pants
7. My dog is black
8. I live on Earth
9. I eat food
10. I drink water
11. Me being white = my family members are also white
12. I live in a house
13. My house has at least 1 toilet
14. My house also has at least 1 bedroom
15. My bedroom has a bed in it
16. I sleep in the bed that is in my bed room
17. Sometimes I cover up with blankets
18. Sometimes I do not cover up with blankets
19. I use the restroom when needed
20. I have a job
21. my job pays me every two weeks
22. I get mail delivered to my house
23. Sometimes i send mail FROM my house
24. Sometimes I listen to music
25.I have two hands that each have 4 fingers and one thumb.
Do you realize how absurd all of this is?!?!
-Dave
p.s. this is not meant to offend any of my friends or family. I'm just venting. Please don't take it personally.
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