Oh the humanity!!

Dear Internet,

What's goin on? How are your series of tubes? I agree, Al Gore is an ass-clown, everyone knows you created yourself just like God did. Maybe you are God, think about it. Stop being modest, you are so awesome. Where else can "Self Potato" grow and become a sensation along side of millions of self-shot pornos and FAILblog? Answer: no-fucking-where.


But I Digress...

That earthquake in Haiti, have you seen this? Have you heard about this? That's some serious business right there. I want to say something before I go off on to my normal tangent of misery and pessimism: I feel bad for everyone that lost their life, family members, pets, personal property, baby teeth etc in that disaster. However, how many millions of dollars are the American people and Government sending their way?? This is one of the great mysteries of the American society that I have yet to solve. Why do we choose to help so many other people, places, causes when we have so many problems in our own houses, community, families?

Like I said, what happened is a tragedy, but let's take a step back here and leave our emotions out of this and start thinking with something that's increasingly rare in our day and age: reason and logical thought! A few years ago there was a little thing called "hurricane Katrina" and she was and is a dirty dirty whore that seriously fucked up a large region of of country, leaving hundreds if not thousands of American citizens without food, water, and shelter. This was a few years ago and still things aren't alright in New Orleans. Why is it then that we organize telethons, donate $10 a text message and as a country let the Government donate time and resources to help another group of people? Things aren't right here!! It seems that Katrina and New Orleans are old news, they're sooooo 2005. Haiti is the new hot shit disaster! Get with the program! New Orleans wants their own celebrity telethon, sans Kanye and Mike Myers. Barack Obama doesn't care about American Citizens. Reese Witherspoon doesn't care about Americans.

Another thing like this that drives me nuts is the trend that every charity has to revolve around problems in Africa. The perfect example of this is the Starbucks, GAP, etc "RED" campaign that benefits AIDS in Africa, because as we all know, AIDS doesn't exist anywhere else. I have no problem with part of my money that I spend on coffee going to help with AIDS research, medicine, etc but why can't it go to some kind of general fund? I refuse to buy these products for this very reason. This is a world-wide problem, not just in Africa.

This is a lame as Angelina and Madonna buying African orphans (yes, I said buying) because there aren't enough orphans in America that need a home. These two bitches should get punched in the face. They try to trendy and fashionable through the guise of charity, it's fucked up. Don't pretend to care, just buy a new purse or pair of shoes instead of an African kid next time.

Back to my original point: we're in a god-damned recession. Don't believe the hype, we're still in it, yet we're sending millions, if not billions of dollars to other countries to help them out. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? We've got crumbling roads, people out of work, and an exponentially and ever-growing deficit and we're sending other people money? Fuck. This is what's wrong with America. People are so worried about what people think of them and what's going on outside of their own house, backyard, country that things here are simply falling apart. This is the same thing as your neighbor butting his stupid face in when you didn't cut your grass this week, or when you forgot to bring the trashcans back from the curb. Mind your own fucking business. Your 16 your old daughter is dating a 30 year old and I'm pretty sure she's gonna get knocked up.(see the TV show "Teen Mom" and "16 and Pregnant" for perfect examples)

This is the catch-22 that America faces, fucked if we do, double-fucked if we don't. We've become the super villain of the world and yet the hero at the same time. It's time to put a stop to this idiocy. Let's take care of business here before we try to save the world before it's too late. Time to pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan and spend some money fixing our problems, not hunting Osama (he''s dead anyway), not building schools is other countries, and sure as hell not sending tax dollars outside of the United States.