The bus ride to and from work generally has some sort of entertaining conversations that I can listen to. For all of you that don't know me, I am a people watcher and a chronic eavesdropper. Public settings in general are the best places to do this, but I have found that public transportation is the best because you have a captive audience. Yesterday may have been my best session ever.
It actually rained yesterday. I know, right? Los Angeles doesn't see much rain, and when it does it's typically not in the summer months. From my memory it's around January and February that most of the rain fall occurs. So the fact that it rained yesterday made things even more interesting. The world as Angelenos know it halts at the slightest hint of rain. People that are already bad drivers become even worse drivers, people that wear coats year round are colder, and people that have lived in California their whole lives generally lose their mind.
There are a lot of people in Southern California that did not spend the majority of their lives here, myself being included. We generally have a (much) higher tolerance for what we call "weather". We grew up with rain, snow, hail, ice storms, etc. So when things drop below anything less than ideal we can manage. People that are born and raised in Southern California freak the fuck out, but this is besides the point, back to the topic at hand... my eavesdropping habit.
So I am on the bus and on my way home. It's sprinkling just a bit, people are walking around downtown with giant golf umbrellas like we're in the middle of a legitimate storm. First off, it takes forever to get out of downtown and on to the 110 normally, but today since it's "raining" it takes even longer". I'm standing up because the bus is full, but luckily I am near one of the more "entertaining" regulars on my bus. She's a 30+ year old black woman, no idea what her name is but she has some interesting personality traits, most of which make me think she's acting because of how exaggerated they are, but I digress. She's talking with a couple of other women that she knows and calls by name about the weather and how "it's pouring" which makes me laugh, just a little bit, to myself.
They're talking for almost the entire ride home about this and that, nothing that I recall or would be worth mentioning but I know the topic sticks to weather because of what she said next:"Oh my God, it's so humid.(note: she has no idea what real humidity is until she's in Columbus, OH during the 4th of July). It's like earthquake weather." Earthquake weather?? Huh? I didn't believe what she had just said but she kept repeating it in different ways but the phrase "earthquake weather" still was uttered multiple times in a few minutes time.
Now, I thought at first, maybe being from Ohio and not knowing a whole lot about earthquakes there might be something to this woman's statement. But the more I thought about it the more absurd it became. I was sure that humidity had nothing to do with the chances of there being an earthquake. Just to be sure I googeled it, and I was right. This woman is a few bricks short.
This just proves my point again, people are stupid and should not be trusted.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Long time no..... type?
It's been a while, how've you been? What? You know, you're not supposed to really go in to that kind of detail. It's sort of a a rhetorical quest. Like when someone asks "how's it going?". You're not supposed to take the next twenty minutes of your day to tell them how much your life sucks. You say "OK, you?" and that's it. Done and..... done.
As for me I've been, we'll say "busy". Busy doing what? Good question. Just the usual work, gym, weekend thing that my life has become.(don't get older kids, stay here as long as you can) It's alright though, I could have it way worse. It seems like that if you listen and/or watch the news then you might start to think that everyone but you is out of a job, and having one has become almost a luxury. Times sure have changed haven't they? I'm glad we started this entry off on a positive not, aren't you?(yes, yes you are)
Random things I've been thinking about:
- Why is everyone else on the road and asshole and terrible driver/person but me? I'm serious. Apparently turn signals really mean "hurry up and pass me, but by all means do not let me over". To make it worse the same ass-hat that passed you will then turn their blinker on because they want YOU to let THEM over. Just face it, we live in a world full of self-absorbed idiots.
-Ugg boots, short shorts and a sweat shirt? Really California? Really?! I'm not going to go into how much sense this doesn't make. I could talk about that for hours. I will tell you how ugly/stupid it looks though.
-When I'm looking for a parking spot at a shopping center or busy store I sit and the entrance to the aisle and wait for someone to leave, thus blocking other people from coming in behind me and also preventing me from driving in circles and getting frustrated by not being able to find a G-D place to park. Seems like an easy enough concept, right? It is until there are a line of idiots behind you with their blinkers on trying to go down the aisle you're blocking and honking their horns.
-Why does it take the same amount of time to receive a regular cup of coffee from Starbucks as it does to order a $6 sugar infused mixed drink "coffee" cluster F? All I want is a regular coffee, Black, no cream, no sugar, no waiting.
-Are things that people do to "go green" really working? Or is it just BS? I recycle paper, plastic and aluminum which pretty much adds up to a lot of beer bottles and cans. I don't use plastic bags, I get paper bags and use then for recycling where they also get recycled. My point is, stop jamming this other crappy ideas down my throat. Besides, these people are all hypocrites. Just the other day I was driving home from the park and ride(Yes, I take public transit. Just another way I am saving the earth) when I saw a woman driving a Prius (one of the 10 million in California) throw her candy wrapper out the window. SHE LITTERED!!! You lose at the game of life.
-Head phones were invented so that you could listen to your music or whatever in privacy. Please stop misusing this great invention by blasting them so loud that I can clearly hear your terrible music. Also: just because we can't hear your music(ideally) doesn't mean we can't hear you [attempt] to sing. Shut up already.
-Dear idiots that call in to sports radio shows: "[other team name here] sucks" is not a valid or logical argument. I realize that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but come on. Just because you don't know anything about another team doesn't mean that your team is better than theirs. Besides, Pau Gasol looks like the "fish guy" in "The Empire Strikes Back".
Also, USC is a good team, we get it. But you can barely spell "USC" couldn't get in and if you did you sure as shit couldn't afford to go there. Please, ignorant morons, shut the hell up. LA is not the center of the universe If it were; where you lived would be bulldozed and/or blown up with mass quantities of dynamite and most likely no one would tell you because they don't care and want you to cease to exist (aka die).
Until next time, I'm out.
As for me I've been, we'll say "busy". Busy doing what? Good question. Just the usual work, gym, weekend thing that my life has become.(don't get older kids, stay here as long as you can) It's alright though, I could have it way worse. It seems like that if you listen and/or watch the news then you might start to think that everyone but you is out of a job, and having one has become almost a luxury. Times sure have changed haven't they? I'm glad we started this entry off on a positive not, aren't you?(yes, yes you are)
Random things I've been thinking about:
- Why is everyone else on the road and asshole and terrible driver/person but me? I'm serious. Apparently turn signals really mean "hurry up and pass me, but by all means do not let me over". To make it worse the same ass-hat that passed you will then turn their blinker on because they want YOU to let THEM over. Just face it, we live in a world full of self-absorbed idiots.
-Ugg boots, short shorts and a sweat shirt? Really California? Really?! I'm not going to go into how much sense this doesn't make. I could talk about that for hours. I will tell you how ugly/stupid it looks though.
-When I'm looking for a parking spot at a shopping center or busy store I sit and the entrance to the aisle and wait for someone to leave, thus blocking other people from coming in behind me and also preventing me from driving in circles and getting frustrated by not being able to find a G-D place to park. Seems like an easy enough concept, right? It is until there are a line of idiots behind you with their blinkers on trying to go down the aisle you're blocking and honking their horns.
-Why does it take the same amount of time to receive a regular cup of coffee from Starbucks as it does to order a $6 sugar infused mixed drink "coffee" cluster F? All I want is a regular coffee, Black, no cream, no sugar, no waiting.
-Are things that people do to "go green" really working? Or is it just BS? I recycle paper, plastic and aluminum which pretty much adds up to a lot of beer bottles and cans. I don't use plastic bags, I get paper bags and use then for recycling where they also get recycled. My point is, stop jamming this other crappy ideas down my throat. Besides, these people are all hypocrites. Just the other day I was driving home from the park and ride(Yes, I take public transit. Just another way I am saving the earth) when I saw a woman driving a Prius (one of the 10 million in California) throw her candy wrapper out the window. SHE LITTERED!!! You lose at the game of life.
-Head phones were invented so that you could listen to your music or whatever in privacy. Please stop misusing this great invention by blasting them so loud that I can clearly hear your terrible music. Also: just because we can't hear your music(ideally) doesn't mean we can't hear you [attempt] to sing. Shut up already.
-Dear idiots that call in to sports radio shows: "[other team name here] sucks" is not a valid or logical argument. I realize that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but come on. Just because you don't know anything about another team doesn't mean that your team is better than theirs. Besides, Pau Gasol looks like the "fish guy" in "The Empire Strikes Back".
Also, USC is a good team, we get it. But you can barely spell "USC" couldn't get in and if you did you sure as shit couldn't afford to go there. Please, ignorant morons, shut the hell up. LA is not the center of the universe If it were; where you lived would be bulldozed and/or blown up with mass quantities of dynamite and most likely no one would tell you because they don't care and want you to cease to exist (aka die).
Until next time, I'm out.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
American Idol:Public Enemy Number 1
I hate American Idol. There, I said it. I really hate that show. It’s been going on for far too long and more importantly it’s what is really wrong with America. I won’t go as far as to say that it’s all reality shows that are to blame, but we sure do have a lot of them.
It started with The Real World, on MTV, a Show that I still somewhat enjoy watching. At least it’s the original right? But even this has gotten predictable. The formula is pretty much the same every show. There are 7 people of a mix of different races; one is perceived as naive or inexperienced and from a small town or conservative background, one is the party girl, party boy, gay person, opinionated judgmental girl, normal/boring guy, and then the person with anger/drug/family issues. There are a couple variations to that formula but I think my description is fairly accurate. The Real World pretty much created this genre of television and also went un-imitated and un-expanded upon for quite some time. And then came Survivor, which was fairly successful for the first 2 or 3 years and has dropped off. Then Big Brother, then the amazing race and then “Who Wants a Shot at VD: Bus Tour” and so on. (OK, so I made that last one up big deal. It’s a combination of a couple of shows out there right now)
Now it seems like all that is out there to watch on TV besides my beloved sports are “reality” shows. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why there are so many reality shows on TV; they’re far cheaper to produce than scripted television and the economy is in the crapper right now. NBC will soon be moving Jay Leno to the 10pm time slot, Monday through Friday thus replacing 5 1-hour scripted television series and saving the network millions of dollars even when they pay Jay an obscene amount. Now take out Jay Leno from this equation and put in a bunch of no-names that want to be famous that you don’t have to pay much if anything and you have a great formula for profitability. Throw on top of that the advertising revenue these shows generate because of the number ofpeople that watch and now you’re really cooking with gas. (Who says that? My mom, that’s who) I understand the economics of the situation, it’s not hard to understand, but this has got to stop. I can’t take it anymore. Why won’t these shows just die? Not only are they lacking in entertainment quality but they are ruining the country in which I live. The main perpetrator is American Idol.
American Idol has been on for 8 season now, which is increasingly hard to believe. Every year we have to deal with Fox shoving this show down our throats, giving Randy Jackson a chance to remind us that he is indeed black (How many times do you have to insert “dawg” in to a sentence, Randy?) and all of the “contestants” that sign up to embarrass themselves on National TV. (Don’t get me wrong here, I love seeing people make asses out of themselves.)Are some of these people good singers? Yes. Are some of them more talented than people that already have record deals? Absolutely. Do they have star quality and relevance? In most cases, no they do not. But that isn’t the problem I have with American Idol. My problem with this show is that it gives countless untalented dolts a tiny ray of hope that they can be just like what’s his face that won last year or the year earlier. All they have to do is audition, show us all how great they are and win their recording contract with whatever record label that sponsors the show. Done and done, you’re famous now. You don’t have to go back to working at Waffle House tomorrow, you’ve made it!
Wait, what now? That doesn’t happen. Only one person can win and that legitimately has talent and in most cases some sort of “star quality”. All that American Idol does is install a false sense of hope in these people. They see the show as a way out of their current lives and they treat is as a ladder in which they can ascend in to celebrity, leaving behind their grease-stained aprons and hair nets. Instead of just trying to better themselves, maybe getting an education and a “good job” they hold on to this false hope that they can be like whoever it is that won last year and be a millionaire. In many ways American Idol is worse than the lottery. I know plenty of people that have good jobs, family life, etc but will still plunk down a couple bucks a week on a lottery ticket.(I do it sometimes too. It’s, in a way, fun.) Do they really think they’ll win? Nope. Do they stop working at perfecting their craft? Again I say, no. No they don’t. How many contestants on American Idol can say this? Not many. They truly believe that they are the next big thing and this is why they’ve been put on this planet. (I would argue that they’re just here to annoy me, but it gives me something to write about. So, thanks?) Putting all of their “eggs” in the American Idol “basket” is just like someone quitting their job to play the lottery professionally.
Let’s not forget that a good percentage of past winners have gone on to have their contracts rescinded and have had to go back to the life that they previously left because no one really wants to listen to the pseudo-pop “music” that most of them put out. (I’m looking at you Clay Aiken and Company) The most successful American Idol winner would probably be Kelly Clarkson and let’s be honest here, do you know anyone that’s actually seen her in concert or paid for some of her music? I sure don’t.
Is hope for a better life a bad thing? In most cases I would say no. If you’re out there working towards your goal of becoming the sales leader for your company, getting that promotion, or earning partnership in a law firm it’s not a bad thing, it’s a great and admirable thing. Hell, hope has even gotten someone elected president. (I will reserve judgment until a later time, President Obama) Hope for the future is a great thing to have and a terrible thing not to have. Some would go as far as saying that if you don’t have hope for the future then it’s not really a life worth living, but isn’t have a false hope worse? Having hope is different than having goals. It’s a popular phrase in the business world that “hope is not a strategy”. Hope is hope, nothing more and nothing less.
This is why I urge you to stop watching American Idol. American Idol stands for what is wrong with this country; people who continue to cling to a [false] hope and do nothing to take action and be accountable for their lives and actions. In many ways American Idol is like the financial bail out that never materializes, or another stimulus package that does no good. So please, I’m literally begging you here, stop watching American Idol so people can start living in the real world and stop annoying all of us.
It started with The Real World, on MTV, a Show that I still somewhat enjoy watching. At least it’s the original right? But even this has gotten predictable. The formula is pretty much the same every show. There are 7 people of a mix of different races; one is perceived as naive or inexperienced and from a small town or conservative background, one is the party girl, party boy, gay person, opinionated judgmental girl, normal/boring guy, and then the person with anger/drug/family issues. There are a couple variations to that formula but I think my description is fairly accurate. The Real World pretty much created this genre of television and also went un-imitated and un-expanded upon for quite some time. And then came Survivor, which was fairly successful for the first 2 or 3 years and has dropped off. Then Big Brother, then the amazing race and then “Who Wants a Shot at VD: Bus Tour” and so on. (OK, so I made that last one up big deal. It’s a combination of a couple of shows out there right now)
Now it seems like all that is out there to watch on TV besides my beloved sports are “reality” shows. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why there are so many reality shows on TV; they’re far cheaper to produce than scripted television and the economy is in the crapper right now. NBC will soon be moving Jay Leno to the 10pm time slot, Monday through Friday thus replacing 5 1-hour scripted television series and saving the network millions of dollars even when they pay Jay an obscene amount. Now take out Jay Leno from this equation and put in a bunch of no-names that want to be famous that you don’t have to pay much if anything and you have a great formula for profitability. Throw on top of that the advertising revenue these shows generate because of the number ofpeople that watch and now you’re really cooking with gas. (Who says that? My mom, that’s who) I understand the economics of the situation, it’s not hard to understand, but this has got to stop. I can’t take it anymore. Why won’t these shows just die? Not only are they lacking in entertainment quality but they are ruining the country in which I live. The main perpetrator is American Idol.
American Idol has been on for 8 season now, which is increasingly hard to believe. Every year we have to deal with Fox shoving this show down our throats, giving Randy Jackson a chance to remind us that he is indeed black (How many times do you have to insert “dawg” in to a sentence, Randy?) and all of the “contestants” that sign up to embarrass themselves on National TV. (Don’t get me wrong here, I love seeing people make asses out of themselves.)Are some of these people good singers? Yes. Are some of them more talented than people that already have record deals? Absolutely. Do they have star quality and relevance? In most cases, no they do not. But that isn’t the problem I have with American Idol. My problem with this show is that it gives countless untalented dolts a tiny ray of hope that they can be just like what’s his face that won last year or the year earlier. All they have to do is audition, show us all how great they are and win their recording contract with whatever record label that sponsors the show. Done and done, you’re famous now. You don’t have to go back to working at Waffle House tomorrow, you’ve made it!
Wait, what now? That doesn’t happen. Only one person can win and that legitimately has talent and in most cases some sort of “star quality”. All that American Idol does is install a false sense of hope in these people. They see the show as a way out of their current lives and they treat is as a ladder in which they can ascend in to celebrity, leaving behind their grease-stained aprons and hair nets. Instead of just trying to better themselves, maybe getting an education and a “good job” they hold on to this false hope that they can be like whoever it is that won last year and be a millionaire. In many ways American Idol is worse than the lottery. I know plenty of people that have good jobs, family life, etc but will still plunk down a couple bucks a week on a lottery ticket.(I do it sometimes too. It’s, in a way, fun.) Do they really think they’ll win? Nope. Do they stop working at perfecting their craft? Again I say, no. No they don’t. How many contestants on American Idol can say this? Not many. They truly believe that they are the next big thing and this is why they’ve been put on this planet. (I would argue that they’re just here to annoy me, but it gives me something to write about. So, thanks?) Putting all of their “eggs” in the American Idol “basket” is just like someone quitting their job to play the lottery professionally.
Let’s not forget that a good percentage of past winners have gone on to have their contracts rescinded and have had to go back to the life that they previously left because no one really wants to listen to the pseudo-pop “music” that most of them put out. (I’m looking at you Clay Aiken and Company) The most successful American Idol winner would probably be Kelly Clarkson and let’s be honest here, do you know anyone that’s actually seen her in concert or paid for some of her music? I sure don’t.
Is hope for a better life a bad thing? In most cases I would say no. If you’re out there working towards your goal of becoming the sales leader for your company, getting that promotion, or earning partnership in a law firm it’s not a bad thing, it’s a great and admirable thing. Hell, hope has even gotten someone elected president. (I will reserve judgment until a later time, President Obama) Hope for the future is a great thing to have and a terrible thing not to have. Some would go as far as saying that if you don’t have hope for the future then it’s not really a life worth living, but isn’t have a false hope worse? Having hope is different than having goals. It’s a popular phrase in the business world that “hope is not a strategy”. Hope is hope, nothing more and nothing less.
This is why I urge you to stop watching American Idol. American Idol stands for what is wrong with this country; people who continue to cling to a [false] hope and do nothing to take action and be accountable for their lives and actions. In many ways American Idol is like the financial bail out that never materializes, or another stimulus package that does no good. So please, I’m literally begging you here, stop watching American Idol so people can start living in the real world and stop annoying all of us.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I think I have a solution on how to get by in this economy: Crap out 14 kids and just kind of hang out on Govt. Assistance
Let's say that you are in school for a master's degree in whatever it is that you would want, for argument's sake we'll say Psychology.(because we all know a bachelors in psych is worthless)You are in your 30's, single, unemployed/living off student loans and already have 6 kids, but yet part of you still feels empty inside because your husband/wife/love/f-buddy left you and your 6 kids. What do you think the next logical step is? Set up a profile on some online dating sight, focus on school, maybe try to meet a new person of romantic interest? If you said yes to any of those options you are an idiot. The correct answer is: Crap out 8 more kids!
I know what you're thinking. Crapping out 8 more kids to bring your total to 14 is the exact wrong thing to do especially when you're unemployed. Hell having 14 kids is stupid even if you have a decent job. I'll go one step further: it's stupid even if you're a multi-millionaire. 14, that's 3 more bodies than are recquired to have a football team.
What's even more puzzling is how this woman got the money to spend on artificial insemination, fertility treatments, etc when she's still a student living off of loans and has 6 mouths to feed. What part of her brain says that this is a good idea? Clearly she is not sane.
"But she's so lonely, she had a void to fill in her heart. What's this poor woman to do?" Well it starts by not having 8 more kids. Plenty of people are lonely, do you know what they do? Buy cats,dogs, gold fish, reptiles to have as a pet and companion. I have a Black Lab, he's a great companion and far less expensive option than 14 kids. (Woody cost me $300, is a pure bread black lab and maybe if you average it out another 60 dollars per month for food, toys and vet bills over the year. He is way cheaper than even 1 kid.) This woman is clearly insane. I would like her to be psychologically tested for her children's benefit.
In all fairness her "plan" is to graduate with her masters degree soon where she thinks she will be able to provide for her super family. How much money does she think a master's degree guarantees her annually? Does she think she's walking in to an easy quarter million dollars plus a year or something? I think even if she made that she's be strapped for cash with how much it coast to feed, clothe and provide shelter for that many people. Take the budget for a family of 4 and multiply that by about 3.5, how crazy is she?
At the end of the day she knows she's not going to have to pay for it alone. There are plenty of suckers out there who will "donate" money to her via her website(which I will not link because I won't support her cause and some how justify her existence) and there are also plenty of other suckers out there called "California tax payer". Yep, that's right. We're all the unsuspecting victim of this woman's lunacy. We're footing the bill for her twisted little brain. In state where we are already not getting tax refunds for this year at a minimum (they're IOU's, there just as good as cash!), and the state budget is seriously backwards how dare this woman leave us with the bill for her choices? It was her choice to have 6 children already. It was her choice to have 8 more when doctors told her that it would be unsafe to do so. It is her choice to put herself in this situation. She should pay for it, not me and not you.
Let's not forget the children here. (Won't somebody please think of the children?!!?) The reality for these children is that they are at a disadvantage already in their young fragile lives. Because of their extremely low birth weights they are more likely to suffer from life threatening conditions that, if they survive, will cause a need for specialized and very expensive care from medical professionals. Also, they will have this deranged woman as a mother to share with 13 other siblings all jockeying for her love and attention. They are getting the short end of the stick. It's only my guess, and it's sad thing to think of, but they will most likely end up in foster care for most of their lives and have no sense of what a family truly is. That is no way to go through life. Wondering why you are here and if any one really cares.
While I don't agree with the threats she is receiving and would never condone threatening her life, she has asked for this in a way. She craves the attention which is why she insisted on keeping all 8 embryos inside of her uterus. She wanted to be on the news(nationally, if not across the world). She wanted recognition for being such a "great" woman and mother. She's getting what she wanted, attention and we're getting to pick up the cost of her 15 minutes of fame.
- Just in this morning: The same doctor that administered fertility procedures to this mother of 14 has another patient that is expecting 4, is also unemployed and is 49 years old. This idiot should lose his medical license and practice.
We are surrounded by idiots.
I know what you're thinking. Crapping out 8 more kids to bring your total to 14 is the exact wrong thing to do especially when you're unemployed. Hell having 14 kids is stupid even if you have a decent job. I'll go one step further: it's stupid even if you're a multi-millionaire. 14, that's 3 more bodies than are recquired to have a football team.
What's even more puzzling is how this woman got the money to spend on artificial insemination, fertility treatments, etc when she's still a student living off of loans and has 6 mouths to feed. What part of her brain says that this is a good idea? Clearly she is not sane.
"But she's so lonely, she had a void to fill in her heart. What's this poor woman to do?" Well it starts by not having 8 more kids. Plenty of people are lonely, do you know what they do? Buy cats,dogs, gold fish, reptiles to have as a pet and companion. I have a Black Lab, he's a great companion and far less expensive option than 14 kids. (Woody cost me $300, is a pure bread black lab and maybe if you average it out another 60 dollars per month for food, toys and vet bills over the year. He is way cheaper than even 1 kid.) This woman is clearly insane. I would like her to be psychologically tested for her children's benefit.
In all fairness her "plan" is to graduate with her masters degree soon where she thinks she will be able to provide for her super family. How much money does she think a master's degree guarantees her annually? Does she think she's walking in to an easy quarter million dollars plus a year or something? I think even if she made that she's be strapped for cash with how much it coast to feed, clothe and provide shelter for that many people. Take the budget for a family of 4 and multiply that by about 3.5, how crazy is she?
At the end of the day she knows she's not going to have to pay for it alone. There are plenty of suckers out there who will "donate" money to her via her website(which I will not link because I won't support her cause and some how justify her existence) and there are also plenty of other suckers out there called "California tax payer". Yep, that's right. We're all the unsuspecting victim of this woman's lunacy. We're footing the bill for her twisted little brain. In state where we are already not getting tax refunds for this year at a minimum (they're IOU's, there just as good as cash!), and the state budget is seriously backwards how dare this woman leave us with the bill for her choices? It was her choice to have 6 children already. It was her choice to have 8 more when doctors told her that it would be unsafe to do so. It is her choice to put herself in this situation. She should pay for it, not me and not you.
Let's not forget the children here. (Won't somebody please think of the children?!!?) The reality for these children is that they are at a disadvantage already in their young fragile lives. Because of their extremely low birth weights they are more likely to suffer from life threatening conditions that, if they survive, will cause a need for specialized and very expensive care from medical professionals. Also, they will have this deranged woman as a mother to share with 13 other siblings all jockeying for her love and attention. They are getting the short end of the stick. It's only my guess, and it's sad thing to think of, but they will most likely end up in foster care for most of their lives and have no sense of what a family truly is. That is no way to go through life. Wondering why you are here and if any one really cares.
While I don't agree with the threats she is receiving and would never condone threatening her life, she has asked for this in a way. She craves the attention which is why she insisted on keeping all 8 embryos inside of her uterus. She wanted to be on the news(nationally, if not across the world). She wanted recognition for being such a "great" woman and mother. She's getting what she wanted, attention and we're getting to pick up the cost of her 15 minutes of fame.
- Just in this morning: The same doctor that administered fertility procedures to this mother of 14 has another patient that is expecting 4, is also unemployed and is 49 years old. This idiot should lose his medical license and practice.
We are surrounded by idiots.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A Field Guide to People(stereotypes) in LA
Much like Facebook, I also have a love/hate relationship with the city(read: Metro Area) in which Live: Sunny(OK, smoggy) Los Angeles, California. A Place full of swimming pools, surfers and wannabe celebrities.
Now don't get me wrong here. I don't lump all of "you people" in to those three categories, but trust me, I do categorize you. Every demographic and ethnicity has a stereotype. Some, if not most, are hilarious. Some can be spot on. Hell, I'm from Ohio. What do you think people imagine when I tell them I am from the great stat of Ohio? Answer: a farmer that drives a fucking pickup truck and loves country music. If you said yes to any of those three, congratulations. You just failed. I am not from the country, didn't grow up on a farm or drive a pick up truck and I DETEST country "music". And furthermore I am from Columbus, the state's capital. A city just under the population of San Francisco in national rankings.
In a city composed of so many people from so many different places around the country, world and sometimes I think the universe, LA is chalked full of stereotyping goodness. Here are some of my favorites to see when I partake in one of my preferred past times; people watching.
1. The Recently divorced 40-something woman: Ever seen doctor 90210? Chances are you've seen this specimen then. She can be spotted by the obvious markings of recent plastic surgery and the need to "let you know about it". Decked out in the trendiest of clothing, fake boobs out to here, fakely plumped lips and no crows feet. The recently divorced 40-something woman is one of the most common sightings in LA. Some say that you can spot these miles away by the size of the silicone they're sporting.
2. Rich old guy that is now dating a woman his grand daughter's age - Former CEO of a company or owner of a business that was previously married to the same woman for 25 or 30 years. He got stinking rich, got divorced and lost half of his money in the process. (Isn't our legal system grand!?) This specimen can be categorized by the recent hair plugs, super expensive sports car, excessive spray tan, and the need to wear his shirt half unbuttoned so you can see his cheesy gold chains. This creatures mating call sounds similar to "cha ching" and by does it ever draw the attention of out next subject.
3. The Gold Digger - This one is a true hunter, of green. Loves the smell, color and sound of money. Loves it even more if you just give it to her in exchange for her, um, company. More commonly she is blond, may also have fake boobs like her predecessor, the recently divorced 40 year old woman and can be seen driving her sugar daddy's Mercedes AMG convertible while shopping all day with his amex black card. Other markings include: huge sunglasses, 4 ct diamond ring(a gift) and the latest designer clothes.
4. The Douchebag - We all know these guys. Think "yuppie on steroids" and that's when you know you're dealing with a real bona-fide doucher. Recently whitened teeth, expensive suits, loafers without socks and a Porsche carrera of boxster(not the 911 or other "real Porsches"). This guy is in his late 20's to early 30's and is really just starting to "kill it" at his sweet job. Not only is work going well, he really wants you to know about it. This creature can be spotted frequently name dropping about his Breitling watch, Gucci shoes, etc. Latin name: Douchus Maxiumus.
5. The Faker - This one just got a job with a company downtown making decent money. This is their first "real job". What makes this person different from you or I is that they see themselves as being better than your average recent college graduate. For example, you might drive the same car you had in college. (I do, it still runs fine. Do I want a new car? Of course I do, but I don't really need it. )But this person went out a few months ago and decided to get the least expensive lease possible on a BMW 328(waste, 335 is so much better/faster) just so they could be seen in and tell you that they have a BMW and you do not. In reality this person has no business driving a BMW but in LA it's all about image and perception. We all know this person.
6. Surfer/Skater - I don't hate people that do this. But when I see someone that has that look I just think they smoke a lot of pot and surf/skate all day. More power to them.
7. Aspiring actor/musician/etc - "I moved here to catch my big break! I'm gonna make all my wildest dreams come true!!!". That's good for you, a lot of famous people have that same story of how they started out with $50 and somehow got "discovered" while they were on their way to buy a grey hound ticket back to Nebraska. However, even more people that aren't famous and will never be have that same idea. There are only so many jobs in entertainment, just like any other field. The difference is, there are a heck of a lot more jobs out there for us normal people who don't want to be in movies. It's OK though, someone has to wait tables until they're 60, so why not them? Check Please!
8. "Locals only" Guy - This guy went to the high school in the town you currently reside. He may of may not have went to college, but that's not the point. At some point he failed at the game we call life and is now living in his parent's house.(Back home these people are basement dwellers, but there aren't really basements in Southern California so they just live in their old room) You'll run in to this person at the local shit hole bar(Fuck you, Shellback. I fucking hate that place. But I digress...). He's the guy(actually there will be a group of these turds) that gives you and your buddies crap and pulls the age old "locals only!!" card. Tool. Years later he will receive an inheritance from his parents and become the old weird guy that nobody likes because he doesn't do shit.
9. Immigrants - Legal or not they are here from all over the place. They. Are. Everywhere. Now I don't despise immigrants like some people do. They're just here to work, whatever. But man, there sure are a lot of them and none of them can drive or speak english.
10. Person that isn't from California - Me. It's cold, there aren't as many jobs, etc where we're from. SO we moved here. We like to get messed up at 9am on Football Saturdays because that's when our team plays and that's the name of the game. We say you can't locals can't drive for shit and everything else that is wrong with the area, but we're here and we're not leaving. We miss home, but not the weather and that's what keeps a lot of us "out here".
Like anywhere else in the country, you have to take the good(weather) with the bad(people). Oh well, that's the way it goes.
Now don't get me wrong here. I don't lump all of "you people" in to those three categories, but trust me, I do categorize you. Every demographic and ethnicity has a stereotype. Some, if not most, are hilarious. Some can be spot on. Hell, I'm from Ohio. What do you think people imagine when I tell them I am from the great stat of Ohio? Answer: a farmer that drives a fucking pickup truck and loves country music. If you said yes to any of those three, congratulations. You just failed. I am not from the country, didn't grow up on a farm or drive a pick up truck and I DETEST country "music". And furthermore I am from Columbus, the state's capital. A city just under the population of San Francisco in national rankings.
In a city composed of so many people from so many different places around the country, world and sometimes I think the universe, LA is chalked full of stereotyping goodness. Here are some of my favorites to see when I partake in one of my preferred past times; people watching.
1. The Recently divorced 40-something woman: Ever seen doctor 90210? Chances are you've seen this specimen then. She can be spotted by the obvious markings of recent plastic surgery and the need to "let you know about it". Decked out in the trendiest of clothing, fake boobs out to here, fakely plumped lips and no crows feet. The recently divorced 40-something woman is one of the most common sightings in LA. Some say that you can spot these miles away by the size of the silicone they're sporting.
2. Rich old guy that is now dating a woman his grand daughter's age - Former CEO of a company or owner of a business that was previously married to the same woman for 25 or 30 years. He got stinking rich, got divorced and lost half of his money in the process. (Isn't our legal system grand!?) This specimen can be categorized by the recent hair plugs, super expensive sports car, excessive spray tan, and the need to wear his shirt half unbuttoned so you can see his cheesy gold chains. This creatures mating call sounds similar to "cha ching" and by does it ever draw the attention of out next subject.
3. The Gold Digger - This one is a true hunter, of green. Loves the smell, color and sound of money. Loves it even more if you just give it to her in exchange for her, um, company. More commonly she is blond, may also have fake boobs like her predecessor, the recently divorced 40 year old woman and can be seen driving her sugar daddy's Mercedes AMG convertible while shopping all day with his amex black card. Other markings include: huge sunglasses, 4 ct diamond ring(a gift) and the latest designer clothes.
4. The Douchebag - We all know these guys. Think "yuppie on steroids" and that's when you know you're dealing with a real bona-fide doucher. Recently whitened teeth, expensive suits, loafers without socks and a Porsche carrera of boxster(not the 911 or other "real Porsches"). This guy is in his late 20's to early 30's and is really just starting to "kill it" at his sweet job. Not only is work going well, he really wants you to know about it. This creature can be spotted frequently name dropping about his Breitling watch, Gucci shoes, etc. Latin name: Douchus Maxiumus.
5. The Faker - This one just got a job with a company downtown making decent money. This is their first "real job". What makes this person different from you or I is that they see themselves as being better than your average recent college graduate. For example, you might drive the same car you had in college. (I do, it still runs fine. Do I want a new car? Of course I do, but I don't really need it. )But this person went out a few months ago and decided to get the least expensive lease possible on a BMW 328(waste, 335 is so much better/faster) just so they could be seen in and tell you that they have a BMW and you do not. In reality this person has no business driving a BMW but in LA it's all about image and perception. We all know this person.
6. Surfer/Skater - I don't hate people that do this. But when I see someone that has that look I just think they smoke a lot of pot and surf/skate all day. More power to them.
7. Aspiring actor/musician/etc - "I moved here to catch my big break! I'm gonna make all my wildest dreams come true!!!". That's good for you, a lot of famous people have that same story of how they started out with $50 and somehow got "discovered" while they were on their way to buy a grey hound ticket back to Nebraska. However, even more people that aren't famous and will never be have that same idea. There are only so many jobs in entertainment, just like any other field. The difference is, there are a heck of a lot more jobs out there for us normal people who don't want to be in movies. It's OK though, someone has to wait tables until they're 60, so why not them? Check Please!
8. "Locals only" Guy - This guy went to the high school in the town you currently reside. He may of may not have went to college, but that's not the point. At some point he failed at the game we call life and is now living in his parent's house.(Back home these people are basement dwellers, but there aren't really basements in Southern California so they just live in their old room) You'll run in to this person at the local shit hole bar(Fuck you, Shellback. I fucking hate that place. But I digress...). He's the guy(actually there will be a group of these turds) that gives you and your buddies crap and pulls the age old "locals only!!" card. Tool. Years later he will receive an inheritance from his parents and become the old weird guy that nobody likes because he doesn't do shit.
9. Immigrants - Legal or not they are here from all over the place. They. Are. Everywhere. Now I don't despise immigrants like some people do. They're just here to work, whatever. But man, there sure are a lot of them and none of them can drive or speak english.
10. Person that isn't from California - Me. It's cold, there aren't as many jobs, etc where we're from. SO we moved here. We like to get messed up at 9am on Football Saturdays because that's when our team plays and that's the name of the game. We say you can't locals can't drive for shit and everything else that is wrong with the area, but we're here and we're not leaving. We miss home, but not the weather and that's what keeps a lot of us "out here".
Like anywhere else in the country, you have to take the good(weather) with the bad(people). Oh well, that's the way it goes.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Lunch FAIL
I eat lean cuisine's almost daily because they are cheap and don't taste too terribly most of the time. I know which ones I like and which ones generally suck. Today however I went to the fridge at work, took out my lunch and prepared to microwave it. This is what I saw:
That was supposed to be portebello chicken and wild rice. What's the pink stuff you ask? I'm not sure. Maybe it's the chicken or maybe it's the rice. Or even better yet, maybe it's the mysterious portebello that I'm sure is just the same kind of mushrooms you get on your pizza that come out of a can. Whatever it was, I was not eating it. F*** you Stoufer's.
Usually when this happens, and by "this" I mean Lunch Fail(crappy lunch, don't feel like eating lean cuisine, forgot/didn't have time to go to store) I usually go to the food court across the street from my office(yeah, I have a real job in an office downtown. Grown up stuff) and after almost no deliberation I end up at Quizno's . Let me just add this, I don't even like Quizno's all that much. It's mediocre at best. I always have high hopes when I go there though. On the commercials the sandwiches look so damn good but in real life, not so much. The question you have to ask yourself here is why do I even bother going to Quizno's if I really don't like it? Well, if I knew the answer to that then I wouldn't be going there would I?
Today I did break the Quizno's chain by going to some salad/wrap place. That wasn't spectacular either.... back to Quizno's for me.
-Side note: It's 75 degrees(or close to it) in downtown LA today. Yet when I walk to the food court I go through this plaza where people routinely sit out in the sun on their lunch hours and what do I see? Some idiot woman wearing a wool winter coat and warm looking boots. It's 75, you don't need all that shit. Some people....
25 random things chain and other Facebook abnormalities
Facebook and I have a love hate relationship. I like it because It's a good way to stay in touch with people since I live approximately 2500 miles away from my birth place and home town, I can see what people are up to, look at their pictures, make fun of their misfortunes, etc. But a lot of the stuff on there is just too much for me. I get a lot of what used to be chain e-mails back in the day but are now chain memos, postings or whatever they want to call them. ( side note: Another thing that I just learned about if text message chains. My sister told me about it over IM today.(side note to previous side note: that's how we talk, and we only talk about randomness.) I've only received a few of them, but apparently it's very popular. I think that the only reason that I don't get them is because I'm more removed from High School than she is because this is her 2nd year of "freedom".)
We all remember the infamous chain e-mail from our high school days. "You better fill this shit out and send it off to 7 or more of your friends because if you don't you'll go blind, your genitals will fall off/close for business forever and your new puppy will die of AIDS". Does that jog your memory? God, that really brings me back to the late 1990's/early 2000's a time when all that shit was serious business (like the Internet, Dever). Now it's not quite so serious, at least to me. However, I have noticed that a lot of my friends on Facebook have been bitten by this bug and chose to pass on it's disease while telling me 25 "random" things about them in hopes that I too will fall for the trick. In the words of Lee Corso "not so fast, my (Facebook) friend".
If you want to know 25 random things about me, just ask. I probably have one of the most random minds and lives of people you'll ever meet. I'm not a "one-upper"(Farva, I'm looking at you buddy) but I'm pretty confident that I can match if not top your 25 most random facts if I really wanted to. They may not be as cool as your facts, but they will probably be more random. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in my short lifetime, been to a lot of weird places and have definitely met my fair share of weirdos. Now, my stories aren't Tucker Max random, I don't think anyone's are, but they are random none the less.
My point is(well, one of them), I do and I don't like the impersonal nature of Facebook. It's one or more levels down from texting or BB messaging(which I admit, I use frequently). If you want to tell somebody something, just tell them. If you want me to tell you random things about me, just ask me and I'll tell you if I want to. But if you think I feel obligated to tell you things because you toldme and 24 other people via a Facebook memo, then you sir/madam are sadly mistaken.
Other things that I don't want you to send me via Facebook or any other methods include:
-Vampires vs. Zombies or any other Nerd/Goth kid thing - Simply put: not interested. I don't fall under either one of those groups.
-An Invitation to your "cause" - If I cared I would already be a member. Just because you think No Child Left Behind (or whatever else) is a good idea it doesn't mean that I agree and it doesn't make you right either.
-"We're Related" - Most people already know we're related, or maybe I don't want them to know(kidding?) that we are. the point is, it's unnecessary.
-"XYZ has sent you a drink!" - I like drinks, especially free ones. But these are not real drinks and I do not drink apple martinis. You also could have slipped something in my drink too and I don't want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. I'll pass, thank you.
- "Little Green Patch" - Seriously? Adding something to your Facebook profile does not help save the earth. I'm not exactly sure, but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that it actually hurts the Earth. There, are you happy now? You're killing my planet! Now get back in your Prius and kindly fuck off.
Am I missing anything here?
I would like to conclude by telling everyone 25 UNrandom things about myself.
1. I am a guy
2. I am white.
3. I wear shoes
4. I wear socks when I wear shoes
5. I also wear pants
6. I wear a belt to hold up said pants
7. My dog is black
8. I live on Earth
9. I eat food
10. I drink water
11. Me being white = my family members are also white
12. I live in a house
13. My house has at least 1 toilet
14. My house also has at least 1 bedroom
15. My bedroom has a bed in it
16. I sleep in the bed that is in my bed room
17. Sometimes I cover up with blankets
18. Sometimes I do not cover up with blankets
19. I use the restroom when needed
20. I have a job
21. my job pays me every two weeks
22. I get mail delivered to my house
23. Sometimes i send mail FROM my house
24. Sometimes I listen to music
25.I have two hands that each have 4 fingers and one thumb.
Do you realize how absurd all of this is?!?!
-Dave
p.s. this is not meant to offend any of my friends or family. I'm just venting. Please don't take it personally.
We all remember the infamous chain e-mail from our high school days. "You better fill this shit out and send it off to 7 or more of your friends because if you don't you'll go blind, your genitals will fall off/close for business forever and your new puppy will die of AIDS". Does that jog your memory? God, that really brings me back to the late 1990's/early 2000's a time when all that shit was serious business (like the Internet, Dever). Now it's not quite so serious, at least to me. However, I have noticed that a lot of my friends on Facebook have been bitten by this bug and chose to pass on it's disease while telling me 25 "random" things about them in hopes that I too will fall for the trick. In the words of Lee Corso "not so fast, my (Facebook) friend".
If you want to know 25 random things about me, just ask. I probably have one of the most random minds and lives of people you'll ever meet. I'm not a "one-upper"(Farva, I'm looking at you buddy) but I'm pretty confident that I can match if not top your 25 most random facts if I really wanted to. They may not be as cool as your facts, but they will probably be more random. I've had a lot of crappy jobs in my short lifetime, been to a lot of weird places and have definitely met my fair share of weirdos. Now, my stories aren't Tucker Max random, I don't think anyone's are, but they are random none the less.
My point is(well, one of them), I do and I don't like the impersonal nature of Facebook. It's one or more levels down from texting or BB messaging(which I admit, I use frequently). If you want to tell somebody something, just tell them. If you want me to tell you random things about me, just ask me and I'll tell you if I want to. But if you think I feel obligated to tell you things because you toldme and 24 other people via a Facebook memo, then you sir/madam are sadly mistaken.
Other things that I don't want you to send me via Facebook or any other methods include:
-Vampires vs. Zombies or any other Nerd/Goth kid thing - Simply put: not interested. I don't fall under either one of those groups.
-An Invitation to your "cause" - If I cared I would already be a member. Just because you think No Child Left Behind (or whatever else) is a good idea it doesn't mean that I agree and it doesn't make you right either.
-"We're Related" - Most people already know we're related, or maybe I don't want them to know(kidding?) that we are. the point is, it's unnecessary.
-"XYZ has sent you a drink!" - I like drinks, especially free ones. But these are not real drinks and I do not drink apple martinis. You also could have slipped something in my drink too and I don't want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. I'll pass, thank you.
- "Little Green Patch" - Seriously? Adding something to your Facebook profile does not help save the earth. I'm not exactly sure, but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that it actually hurts the Earth. There, are you happy now? You're killing my planet! Now get back in your Prius and kindly fuck off.
Am I missing anything here?
I would like to conclude by telling everyone 25 UNrandom things about myself.
1. I am a guy
2. I am white.
3. I wear shoes
4. I wear socks when I wear shoes
5. I also wear pants
6. I wear a belt to hold up said pants
7. My dog is black
8. I live on Earth
9. I eat food
10. I drink water
11. Me being white = my family members are also white
12. I live in a house
13. My house has at least 1 toilet
14. My house also has at least 1 bedroom
15. My bedroom has a bed in it
16. I sleep in the bed that is in my bed room
17. Sometimes I cover up with blankets
18. Sometimes I do not cover up with blankets
19. I use the restroom when needed
20. I have a job
21. my job pays me every two weeks
22. I get mail delivered to my house
23. Sometimes i send mail FROM my house
24. Sometimes I listen to music
25.I have two hands that each have 4 fingers and one thumb.
Do you realize how absurd all of this is?!?!
-Dave
p.s. this is not meant to offend any of my friends or family. I'm just venting. Please don't take it personally.
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