Luckily for me, I didn't have to show up to the office today. Being a sales rep means I get to go all over the damn place and spend a lot of time sitting in LA traffic cursing my existence. Today wasn't all that bad though, I went to a mini-convention maybe 3 miles from my house which means instead of waking up at 5:45 and starting my routine, which you have all seen(and by" you" I mean Ski, my mom, and my sister) I got to sleep til damn near 7. That's a fucking accomplishment. How sad my life has become.
3 or 4 years ago waking up at 7 was not a possibility unless it was a football Saturday and I had important business[drinking] to attend to. I used to sleep til 10 at a minimum to make it to my noon class, and even then there was no guarantee I would make it, which would explain why I was constantly on academic probation from the fine establishment also known as Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity. Now if I sleep til 7 or 7:30 I wake up and feel like I've slept til noon. It's fucked up. What's going on with my body and my brain? Even if I try to sleep in my body naturally wakes me up thus shooting all chances of sleeping in squarely in the ass.
Anyway, let's get back on topic: me not being in the office today. So being out of the office let's me avoid one thing I hate; STANDARD OFFICE SMALL TALK. You probably know what I mean by this. You can almost tell what certain people you work with are going to say to you in the morning just by what day it is.
Monday - Standard Questions: How was your weekend? Did your team win? etc. Standard Statements. My weekend was good, TOO SHORT THOUGH ROFL!!!! My team won or lost goddammit they suck balls. I can't wait til Friday. My life sucks. I need more coffee to handle this shit, etc.
Tuesday - HEY, at least it's not Monday!! LOL HIGH FIVE!
Wednesday - IT'S HUMP DAY/HAPPY HUMP DAY! These statements seem ironic, and I looove irony. Everyone that says something about hump day has the same perverted thought in their head "ha, you just said hump!". Fact of the matter is, everyone I work with is married and has kids so NO day is ever hump day for them. Literally.
Thursday - OMFG I am so glad tomorrow is Friday, I need more coffee to make it through this shit.
FRIDAY - WOO Weekend, bla bla bla let's not do any work today at all because I checked out as soon as I parked my car in the garage this morning! What are your weekend plans? Who does your team play? You Golf?
How many times during a 5 day work week do these people say the word "Friday"? Friday is the most popular word in every office everywhere. No wonder we're so fucked and the recession went on/is going on for so long. Everyone is a moron.
I hate Office small talk for another reason: no one knows shit about you. They don't care what your responses are, and they won't remember any of them. I can't tell you how many times I've been over that fact that I am from Ohio with people I work with. "Ohio??" Yes, Ohio. And no I do not like country music, did not live on a farm or any other retarded vision of Ohioans you have in your head. People in California are so fucking dumb when it comes to anything outside of their bubble. To them there California, some dry hot places, some cold places, farmers, hicks and NYC. That's it. That's what America looks like to them.
Anyways, I'm fucking out. I have football to watch. Go WVU(fuck Cincituckey), and Go Bucks!
Almost forgot - thanks to everyone at 11w and the BBC for checking this out. Your comments and readership are appreciated.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Random thought
I live in Laker country, and hate the Lakers with a passion. Everyone LOVES Magic Johnson in LA. (Erv for all you "clones" out there, if you listen to Jim Rome you get it) Magic Johnson could bang a lot of hookers without wearing a condom even though he is married and get AIDS and people would still love him.. wait, wait a minute, that already happened.
Anyway, I was thinking of this a while ago. Picture the "Show Time" Lakers locker room. Magic, Kurt Rambis, James Worthy.... and AC Green. Sing it with me "one of these things is not like the other". You got Magic goin raw with LA Hookers and then there's AC, who was a virgin until he was like 45 or some crap. There could not be two more polar opposites in the world. Yet, they were on the same team and in the same locker room.
I have to think Magic gave AC some serious shit back in the day.Serious name calling, maybe even suggesting he preferred the company of other men, etc. Do you think AC calls Erv up and just says "told ya so" and hangs up? I would, but I'm like that. Spiteful.
Also, if ALS is "Lou Gehrig's Disease" why isn't HIV/AIDS "Magic Johnson's Disease"?? This is the kind of shit I think of in my spare time.
Side Note: Erv used to do safe sex commercials back in the day. OH SWEET IRONY!
Anyway, I was thinking of this a while ago. Picture the "Show Time" Lakers locker room. Magic, Kurt Rambis, James Worthy.... and AC Green. Sing it with me "one of these things is not like the other". You got Magic goin raw with LA Hookers and then there's AC, who was a virgin until he was like 45 or some crap. There could not be two more polar opposites in the world. Yet, they were on the same team and in the same locker room.
I have to think Magic gave AC some serious shit back in the day.Serious name calling, maybe even suggesting he preferred the company of other men, etc. Do you think AC calls Erv up and just says "told ya so" and hangs up? I would, but I'm like that. Spiteful.
Also, if ALS is "Lou Gehrig's Disease" why isn't HIV/AIDS "Magic Johnson's Disease"?? This is the kind of shit I think of in my spare time.
Side Note: Erv used to do safe sex commercials back in the day. OH SWEET IRONY!
Losing your cool
When is the age when you're not allowed to do certain things anymore? Like all the stuff that used to be cool, you still think is but everyone looks at you like you're and idiot because you still do. Perfect example: video games. I think this is something that my generation (AKA the first people to have Nintendo) is the first to experience. Are we all going to be like 75 and playing xbox12million? Will they have fixed the red ring of death thing by then? Of course if you're like me, then you probably won't be playing anymore. The only video game system I own is Nintendo 64 because you still can't fuck with Mario Kart 64. No contest, best game ever. Golden Eye 64 is a close second. It is 1B to MK64's 1A.
Other things that you "grow out of"
- Basketball shoes - They're so comfortable!!! I wore them from elementary through like 10th grade. If I wore them now?? I'd look like a complete tool. It sucks! I want those new zoom air LeBron maxes or whatever they're called, but I don't want to spend $200 to be ridiculed. That already happens to me free of charge. Thanks to my girlfriend.
- Sports Jerseys - I wear my Nike Throwback 1995 Eddie George jersey every football Saturday, but I'm concerned that one birthday it's just going to become uncool for me to wear it. Like overnight the grown-up fairy flies in through my window, taps me wither her magic wand, and presto, i suck at life and am not allowed to wear a jersey anymore.
- Driving a cool car - Still hasn't happened to me, but it has to before kids come along and ruin my life . You'll never have a chance to have a cool car again until they all leave your house. Then it's seen as 1) mid-life crisis and 2) you have a tiny penis/impotence. I do not want either of those labels thank you. For example, what pops in to your head when you see a guy driving a [pussy-magnet yellow] Corvette? I rest my case.
- Not parting your hair - Every person that is at or above a certain age has a grown-up haircut/style. I do not want. Actually, I just want to keep my hair and not look like a dork
-Inappropriate jokes/remarks - This is the only thing I can think of that you are supposed to grow out of, but once you reach a 2nd point in your life it becomes acceptable again. Think about it, you can't get away with calling anything gay anymore without pissing someone off. Same goes for retarded. Some one's friend's uncle's cousin is that, and you are a prick because you are so goddamn insensitive. Let me make this clear: I don't dislike gay or retarded people. (Tim Hardaway"hates gay peoples" btw) Both are fine, I don't care what you do in your private life at all as long as it isn't part of NAMBLA's code of conduct. Anyway, you reach a certain point and all that shit is seriously frowned upon. But BANG! You turn like 60 or something and you can say whatever the fuck you want again!! SWEET VICTORY! Think back to your grandfather and the shit he said/says. My grandpa said some terrible stuff about everyone, and it was hilarious. I can't wait to be old just because of that. Dear future grandson, you better hope that you're not effeminate and are good at sports or you're going to hate my ass. You've been warned.
Things that were NEVER cool. EVER.
-Jorts
-Tim Tebow - see above
- Teva or similar sandals - you look retarded. Go save trees and eat granola somewhere else, hippie.
- Vince Carter - All he could do was dunk. Now that he has 2 shot knees what is he good for? And he plays for the magic, and that name and their unis = LAME(Go Cavs, big win last night)
Things that used to be cool and idiots ruined:
-Vampires - Vampires used to be all cool and scary and not gay at all. Now look at them. All effeminate and so on. Dear Mormon woman that wrote those Twilight books: Fuck You. You ruined Vampires. ("Twi-Tards" are another group of people I can't stand.)
-Jeans - Regular jeans are fine. But these embroidered designer jeans are so dumb looking. Even if your woman (or "guy friend") picked them out, there's no excuse for you not returning them or even think about wearing them. Negative man points if you wear them without being coerced by oral. And even then, everyone knows you accept oral and then still don't wear them. And skinny jeans??? What's the point. Jeans are supposed to be comfortable, not so tight they hurt your nuts. Don't get me started on the idiots that sag skinny jeans either.
-Being a man - A real man, not one of those faggy Twilight Vampires, Metrosexuals, etc. It's not cool to be a man's man anymore for some reason. If that's the case, I choose to remain uncool. Drinking beer, not shaving, watchigng any sport that is on TV at a given time and eating cheeseburgers or anything else I can char on my grill. That's my typical weekend, why has this become a crime?
Other things that you "grow out of"
- Basketball shoes - They're so comfortable!!! I wore them from elementary through like 10th grade. If I wore them now?? I'd look like a complete tool. It sucks! I want those new zoom air LeBron maxes or whatever they're called, but I don't want to spend $200 to be ridiculed. That already happens to me free of charge. Thanks to my girlfriend.
- Sports Jerseys - I wear my Nike Throwback 1995 Eddie George jersey every football Saturday, but I'm concerned that one birthday it's just going to become uncool for me to wear it. Like overnight the grown-up fairy flies in through my window, taps me wither her magic wand, and presto, i suck at life and am not allowed to wear a jersey anymore.
- Driving a cool car - Still hasn't happened to me, but it has to before kids come along and ruin my life . You'll never have a chance to have a cool car again until they all leave your house. Then it's seen as 1) mid-life crisis and 2) you have a tiny penis/impotence. I do not want either of those labels thank you. For example, what pops in to your head when you see a guy driving a [pussy-magnet yellow] Corvette? I rest my case.
- Not parting your hair - Every person that is at or above a certain age has a grown-up haircut/style. I do not want. Actually, I just want to keep my hair and not look like a dork
-Inappropriate jokes/remarks - This is the only thing I can think of that you are supposed to grow out of, but once you reach a 2nd point in your life it becomes acceptable again. Think about it, you can't get away with calling anything gay anymore without pissing someone off. Same goes for retarded. Some one's friend's uncle's cousin is that, and you are a prick because you are so goddamn insensitive. Let me make this clear: I don't dislike gay or retarded people. (Tim Hardaway"hates gay peoples" btw) Both are fine, I don't care what you do in your private life at all as long as it isn't part of NAMBLA's code of conduct. Anyway, you reach a certain point and all that shit is seriously frowned upon. But BANG! You turn like 60 or something and you can say whatever the fuck you want again!! SWEET VICTORY! Think back to your grandfather and the shit he said/says. My grandpa said some terrible stuff about everyone, and it was hilarious. I can't wait to be old just because of that. Dear future grandson, you better hope that you're not effeminate and are good at sports or you're going to hate my ass. You've been warned.
Things that were NEVER cool. EVER.
-Jorts
-Tim Tebow - see above
- Teva or similar sandals - you look retarded. Go save trees and eat granola somewhere else, hippie.
- Vince Carter - All he could do was dunk. Now that he has 2 shot knees what is he good for? And he plays for the magic, and that name and their unis = LAME(Go Cavs, big win last night)
Things that used to be cool and idiots ruined:
-Vampires - Vampires used to be all cool and scary and not gay at all. Now look at them. All effeminate and so on. Dear Mormon woman that wrote those Twilight books: Fuck You. You ruined Vampires. ("Twi-Tards" are another group of people I can't stand.)
-Jeans - Regular jeans are fine. But these embroidered designer jeans are so dumb looking. Even if your woman (or "guy friend") picked them out, there's no excuse for you not returning them or even think about wearing them. Negative man points if you wear them without being coerced by oral. And even then, everyone knows you accept oral and then still don't wear them. And skinny jeans??? What's the point. Jeans are supposed to be comfortable, not so tight they hurt your nuts. Don't get me started on the idiots that sag skinny jeans either.
-Being a man - A real man, not one of those faggy Twilight Vampires, Metrosexuals, etc. It's not cool to be a man's man anymore for some reason. If that's the case, I choose to remain uncool. Drinking beer, not shaving, watchigng any sport that is on TV at a given time and eating cheeseburgers or anything else I can char on my grill. That's my typical weekend, why has this become a crime?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Things I've been thinking about lately
I kid mt buddy Rob that the reason I don't do drugs(i.e. smoke the devil's lettuce) is that I don't need any help in the random/stupid ideas department. My brain works like no one else I know, meaning that I'm always zoning out, thinking about random stuff and inappropriate thoughts.
I've been thinking about taking an entire day and devoting it to my Facebook status. What do I mean? Well, that's easy. I want to post every single thing I do.
5:45 - Dave just hit snooze
5:55 - Dave just hit snooze again
6:05 - Fuck you blackberry, I'm awake.
6:10 - grinding coffee beans for the fresh coffee kick. fuck Folgers, whole bean is the way to go
6:20 - one cup down, time to take a shit
6:30 - still reading mens health on the toilet
6:35 - fuck reading I'm gonna play brickbreaker while i take a dump
6:38 - wiping
6:39 - wiping again
6:45 - shower, mostly scratching balls with soap
6:50 - getting dressed, but mostly watching sportcenter
I think you get the idea. I'll admit, I update my Facebook status entirely too much. For this I blame Facebook for Blackberry. But what I do not do is update it with every little thing like some people. Or put what I call the "feel sorry for me" post on there. Here's an example of that "bla bla bla my bf/gf dumped me, I hate my life, no one will ever love me again :( :( :( "
They didn't love you in the first place, shut the hell up and stop being an attention whore. The only reason people post shit like this is so that people will be all like "OMG WHAT A JERK!!!" and "DON'T WORRY, WE STILL LUV U! LOL!". Idiots.
And another thing "LOL" is stupid, but not as stupid as "LMAO" of the infamous "ROFL". I have never rolled on the floor laughing... while sober. Stop lying and stop contributing to your friend's feel sorry for me moment.
Am i just an asshole? At the age of 26 am I out of touch? I'd like to think it's just because I'm not a complete moron. The next generation is so fucked. We better fix all the problems that we have NOW because these tards are useless.
Speaking of useless - TWITTER. Really, you tweet? Why? Do you have Facebook? What's the point of having both?
Someone told me you could link your Twitter account to your Facebook account and that somehow made sense to them. Why would I need two things to perform the same function? Actually, Twitter isn't even on the same level. It's like pulling out your Facebook status and making it one singular application. It's retarded.
I understand twitter if your what I would consider to be an important person, or in the media, etc. If you actually have important things to say then knock yourself out. But people like you and me do not need twitter. Nothing we do is that cool or important that other people need to follow us. That's another thing wrong with the next generation, they think they're the most interesting and important people in the world when in all reality they haven't nor will they ever do anything productive. We better cure cancer and AIDS now, because these jackoffs have to tweet something real quick.
8:31 - finish blog post, need to dump again.
Fuck it. I'm out.
-Dave
I've been thinking about taking an entire day and devoting it to my Facebook status. What do I mean? Well, that's easy. I want to post every single thing I do.
5:45 - Dave just hit snooze
5:55 - Dave just hit snooze again
6:05 - Fuck you blackberry, I'm awake.
6:10 - grinding coffee beans for the fresh coffee kick. fuck Folgers, whole bean is the way to go
6:20 - one cup down, time to take a shit
6:30 - still reading mens health on the toilet
6:35 - fuck reading I'm gonna play brickbreaker while i take a dump
6:38 - wiping
6:39 - wiping again
6:45 - shower, mostly scratching balls with soap
6:50 - getting dressed, but mostly watching sportcenter
I think you get the idea. I'll admit, I update my Facebook status entirely too much. For this I blame Facebook for Blackberry. But what I do not do is update it with every little thing like some people. Or put what I call the "feel sorry for me" post on there. Here's an example of that "bla bla bla my bf/gf dumped me, I hate my life, no one will ever love me again :( :( :( "
They didn't love you in the first place, shut the hell up and stop being an attention whore. The only reason people post shit like this is so that people will be all like "OMG WHAT A JERK!!!" and "DON'T WORRY, WE STILL LUV U! LOL!". Idiots.
And another thing "LOL" is stupid, but not as stupid as "LMAO" of the infamous "ROFL". I have never rolled on the floor laughing... while sober. Stop lying and stop contributing to your friend's feel sorry for me moment.
Am i just an asshole? At the age of 26 am I out of touch? I'd like to think it's just because I'm not a complete moron. The next generation is so fucked. We better fix all the problems that we have NOW because these tards are useless.
Speaking of useless - TWITTER. Really, you tweet? Why? Do you have Facebook? What's the point of having both?
Someone told me you could link your Twitter account to your Facebook account and that somehow made sense to them. Why would I need two things to perform the same function? Actually, Twitter isn't even on the same level. It's like pulling out your Facebook status and making it one singular application. It's retarded.
I understand twitter if your what I would consider to be an important person, or in the media, etc. If you actually have important things to say then knock yourself out. But people like you and me do not need twitter. Nothing we do is that cool or important that other people need to follow us. That's another thing wrong with the next generation, they think they're the most interesting and important people in the world when in all reality they haven't nor will they ever do anything productive. We better cure cancer and AIDS now, because these jackoffs have to tweet something real quick.
8:31 - finish blog post, need to dump again.
Fuck it. I'm out.
-Dave
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Long Time no.... type?
Hey everyone that has read my blog before(read: my mom) the most wonderful time of the year is in full swing. That's right, College football!! Now, I know I'm a couple(4) weeks late but things have been a bit crazy in the 310 lately, work has kept me pretty busy. That's not a complaint, trust me, because in my line of work time definitely equals money.
Back to the task at hand: College Football. There have been a couple surprises, a couple things we shoulda seen coming, etc. Here are my thoughts, however unorganized they may be. Let me start with my favorite team, my Alma Mater, THE Ohio State University.(Yes, the "THE" is important.)
1. The more I think about that USC game, which I flew back to Columbus just to be on campus for, the more I know we should have won. - Let that soak in, I'm sure some, if not most people would agree with that statement. I'll say it again, Ohio State SHOULD have won that game. The Trojans are NOT who we thought they were (Dennis Green, Anyone? Bueller?). Gone, for now, are the days of putting up points on any team they want to destroy at will. The Matt "douche-face" Barkley era is upon us, which means it's time to hand the ball off for 2.5 quarters and then when the other team is a little tired maybe try throwing the ball. Ohio State kept USC's lack of offense in check for the entire game except that last drive. OSU defense played well the entire game, until they allowed Joe "Bum Beard" McKnight to scamper for a first down on a third and very long. From there is was all down hill.
Say what you want about Jim Tressel's play calling but part of you had to agree with him when he decided to put the game in the hands of our very capable defense. Sure, we could have done this or that but our D is solid, solid as a rock. Calls for coach's job are VERY premature at this point in my humble yet superior opinion.
My feelings about this game in particular are not helped out by the fact that Washington went out and beat the Trojans the very next week. Salt meet Wound.
2. How bout that Defense?! - Aside from the Navy game, Ohio State's defense has looked STACKED. Hold USC under 20pts, check. Shut out Toledo, check. Make Juice Williams look like a fool, DOUBLE CHECK. Back to back shut-outs, no matter who you play, is something to write home about.
Can they make it three in a row this weekend?
3. Shut up about play calling - That's all I'm gonna say about that for now.
4. T. Pryor - Still has some things to work on, isn't quite the return of Christ, but he's got a nice 3 game stretch here to work out the kinks, providing the right plays are called. I am interested in seeing what takes place between now and the month of November.
Big Ten Team Notes
6. Penn State - Iowa made Daryl Clark look like Juice Williams on a terrible night. All that revenge talk was bogus. Penn State could very easily be the 4th best team in the big ten, although, i still think they beat Michigan's lack of Defense all damn day. All I want to make sure of now is that Jim Tressel has a copy of this game tape. If not, I will send him what I DVR'd.
7. One more thought on this Penn State team: Apparently playing Syracuse, AkROWDY and The Mighty Owls of Temple as a warm up doesn't prepare you to play football against legit competition. Who knew? Seems to be a trend here....
8. Iowa - Good/possibly great defense. Offense, jury is still out. Plain and simple, they made Penn State look like Northwestern. No offense to Northwestern.
9. scUM - I'll give it to them that the offense looks much better than last year. However, how do you let Indiana, no matter how much the have improved, drop those kind of points on you? Shouldn't that be embarrassing? My second point about that game is that there was an obvious bad call that kept this from getting very interesting at the end.
10. scUM 2.0 - Sure, they're undefeated but they played "Directional Michigan" twice, Notre Lame(sucks) and now Indiana. Tough Slate, yawn. The real tests are straight ahead.
Teams outside of the Big Ten
11. Cal - You made me look and feel like a fool. My follow up question for Cal is since they've already dropped their annual WTF game, can they come out and beat an offensively anemic USC team this weekend at home? I'm up in the air on this. On one hand, it would be nice to see someone besides USC win the pac 10 and have all their super homer fair-weather fans that live next to me STFU, but on the other hand another USC loss makes the Buckeyes look progressively worse. Sigh...
12. Was that the oregon team that was on cover of SI before the season started? They've come a Long way since looking 2 steps too slow against Boise on that awful blue field.
13. Notre Dame Still sucks - Yay you beat Nevada! Needed Michigan State to turn the ball over to win that game, got beat by the Michigan Fightin' TaiNt Forciers and then had to score a TD to beat Purdue in the final minute last week. Charlie Cheeseburger is about to get PAID to sit at home next season.
So we're at about the 1/4 mark of the season, most teams have 8 or 9 games left to play. This season should shape up to be very interesting as the Month of November and December will be very entertaining.
I'm not going to make any bold predictions though, I don't want to jinx anything just yet...
Back to the task at hand: College Football. There have been a couple surprises, a couple things we shoulda seen coming, etc. Here are my thoughts, however unorganized they may be. Let me start with my favorite team, my Alma Mater, THE Ohio State University.(Yes, the "THE" is important.)
1. The more I think about that USC game, which I flew back to Columbus just to be on campus for, the more I know we should have won. - Let that soak in, I'm sure some, if not most people would agree with that statement. I'll say it again, Ohio State SHOULD have won that game. The Trojans are NOT who we thought they were (Dennis Green, Anyone? Bueller?). Gone, for now, are the days of putting up points on any team they want to destroy at will. The Matt "douche-face" Barkley era is upon us, which means it's time to hand the ball off for 2.5 quarters and then when the other team is a little tired maybe try throwing the ball. Ohio State kept USC's lack of offense in check for the entire game except that last drive. OSU defense played well the entire game, until they allowed Joe "Bum Beard" McKnight to scamper for a first down on a third and very long. From there is was all down hill.
Say what you want about Jim Tressel's play calling but part of you had to agree with him when he decided to put the game in the hands of our very capable defense. Sure, we could have done this or that but our D is solid, solid as a rock. Calls for coach's job are VERY premature at this point in my humble yet superior opinion.
My feelings about this game in particular are not helped out by the fact that Washington went out and beat the Trojans the very next week. Salt meet Wound.
2. How bout that Defense?! - Aside from the Navy game, Ohio State's defense has looked STACKED. Hold USC under 20pts, check. Shut out Toledo, check. Make Juice Williams look like a fool, DOUBLE CHECK. Back to back shut-outs, no matter who you play, is something to write home about.
Can they make it three in a row this weekend?
3. Shut up about play calling - That's all I'm gonna say about that for now.
4. T. Pryor - Still has some things to work on, isn't quite the return of Christ, but he's got a nice 3 game stretch here to work out the kinks, providing the right plays are called. I am interested in seeing what takes place between now and the month of November.
Big Ten Team Notes
6. Penn State - Iowa made Daryl Clark look like Juice Williams on a terrible night. All that revenge talk was bogus. Penn State could very easily be the 4th best team in the big ten, although, i still think they beat Michigan's lack of Defense all damn day. All I want to make sure of now is that Jim Tressel has a copy of this game tape. If not, I will send him what I DVR'd.
7. One more thought on this Penn State team: Apparently playing Syracuse, AkROWDY and The Mighty Owls of Temple as a warm up doesn't prepare you to play football against legit competition. Who knew? Seems to be a trend here....
8. Iowa - Good/possibly great defense. Offense, jury is still out. Plain and simple, they made Penn State look like Northwestern. No offense to Northwestern.
9. scUM - I'll give it to them that the offense looks much better than last year. However, how do you let Indiana, no matter how much the have improved, drop those kind of points on you? Shouldn't that be embarrassing? My second point about that game is that there was an obvious bad call that kept this from getting very interesting at the end.
10. scUM 2.0 - Sure, they're undefeated but they played "Directional Michigan" twice, Notre Lame(sucks) and now Indiana. Tough Slate, yawn. The real tests are straight ahead.
Teams outside of the Big Ten
11. Cal - You made me look and feel like a fool. My follow up question for Cal is since they've already dropped their annual WTF game, can they come out and beat an offensively anemic USC team this weekend at home? I'm up in the air on this. On one hand, it would be nice to see someone besides USC win the pac 10 and have all their super homer fair-weather fans that live next to me STFU, but on the other hand another USC loss makes the Buckeyes look progressively worse. Sigh...
12. Was that the oregon team that was on cover of SI before the season started? They've come a Long way since looking 2 steps too slow against Boise on that awful blue field.
13. Notre Dame Still sucks - Yay you beat Nevada! Needed Michigan State to turn the ball over to win that game, got beat by the Michigan Fightin' TaiNt Forciers and then had to score a TD to beat Purdue in the final minute last week. Charlie Cheeseburger is about to get PAID to sit at home next season.
So we're at about the 1/4 mark of the season, most teams have 8 or 9 games left to play. This season should shape up to be very interesting as the Month of November and December will be very entertaining.
I'm not going to make any bold predictions though, I don't want to jinx anything just yet...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Earthquake weather and other bus conversations
The bus ride to and from work generally has some sort of entertaining conversations that I can listen to. For all of you that don't know me, I am a people watcher and a chronic eavesdropper. Public settings in general are the best places to do this, but I have found that public transportation is the best because you have a captive audience. Yesterday may have been my best session ever.
It actually rained yesterday. I know, right? Los Angeles doesn't see much rain, and when it does it's typically not in the summer months. From my memory it's around January and February that most of the rain fall occurs. So the fact that it rained yesterday made things even more interesting. The world as Angelenos know it halts at the slightest hint of rain. People that are already bad drivers become even worse drivers, people that wear coats year round are colder, and people that have lived in California their whole lives generally lose their mind.
There are a lot of people in Southern California that did not spend the majority of their lives here, myself being included. We generally have a (much) higher tolerance for what we call "weather". We grew up with rain, snow, hail, ice storms, etc. So when things drop below anything less than ideal we can manage. People that are born and raised in Southern California freak the fuck out, but this is besides the point, back to the topic at hand... my eavesdropping habit.
So I am on the bus and on my way home. It's sprinkling just a bit, people are walking around downtown with giant golf umbrellas like we're in the middle of a legitimate storm. First off, it takes forever to get out of downtown and on to the 110 normally, but today since it's "raining" it takes even longer". I'm standing up because the bus is full, but luckily I am near one of the more "entertaining" regulars on my bus. She's a 30+ year old black woman, no idea what her name is but she has some interesting personality traits, most of which make me think she's acting because of how exaggerated they are, but I digress. She's talking with a couple of other women that she knows and calls by name about the weather and how "it's pouring" which makes me laugh, just a little bit, to myself.
They're talking for almost the entire ride home about this and that, nothing that I recall or would be worth mentioning but I know the topic sticks to weather because of what she said next:"Oh my God, it's so humid.(note: she has no idea what real humidity is until she's in Columbus, OH during the 4th of July). It's like earthquake weather." Earthquake weather?? Huh? I didn't believe what she had just said but she kept repeating it in different ways but the phrase "earthquake weather" still was uttered multiple times in a few minutes time.
Now, I thought at first, maybe being from Ohio and not knowing a whole lot about earthquakes there might be something to this woman's statement. But the more I thought about it the more absurd it became. I was sure that humidity had nothing to do with the chances of there being an earthquake. Just to be sure I googeled it, and I was right. This woman is a few bricks short.
This just proves my point again, people are stupid and should not be trusted.
It actually rained yesterday. I know, right? Los Angeles doesn't see much rain, and when it does it's typically not in the summer months. From my memory it's around January and February that most of the rain fall occurs. So the fact that it rained yesterday made things even more interesting. The world as Angelenos know it halts at the slightest hint of rain. People that are already bad drivers become even worse drivers, people that wear coats year round are colder, and people that have lived in California their whole lives generally lose their mind.
There are a lot of people in Southern California that did not spend the majority of their lives here, myself being included. We generally have a (much) higher tolerance for what we call "weather". We grew up with rain, snow, hail, ice storms, etc. So when things drop below anything less than ideal we can manage. People that are born and raised in Southern California freak the fuck out, but this is besides the point, back to the topic at hand... my eavesdropping habit.
So I am on the bus and on my way home. It's sprinkling just a bit, people are walking around downtown with giant golf umbrellas like we're in the middle of a legitimate storm. First off, it takes forever to get out of downtown and on to the 110 normally, but today since it's "raining" it takes even longer". I'm standing up because the bus is full, but luckily I am near one of the more "entertaining" regulars on my bus. She's a 30+ year old black woman, no idea what her name is but she has some interesting personality traits, most of which make me think she's acting because of how exaggerated they are, but I digress. She's talking with a couple of other women that she knows and calls by name about the weather and how "it's pouring" which makes me laugh, just a little bit, to myself.
They're talking for almost the entire ride home about this and that, nothing that I recall or would be worth mentioning but I know the topic sticks to weather because of what she said next:"Oh my God, it's so humid.(note: she has no idea what real humidity is until she's in Columbus, OH during the 4th of July). It's like earthquake weather." Earthquake weather?? Huh? I didn't believe what she had just said but she kept repeating it in different ways but the phrase "earthquake weather" still was uttered multiple times in a few minutes time.
Now, I thought at first, maybe being from Ohio and not knowing a whole lot about earthquakes there might be something to this woman's statement. But the more I thought about it the more absurd it became. I was sure that humidity had nothing to do with the chances of there being an earthquake. Just to be sure I googeled it, and I was right. This woman is a few bricks short.
This just proves my point again, people are stupid and should not be trusted.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Long time no..... type?
It's been a while, how've you been? What? You know, you're not supposed to really go in to that kind of detail. It's sort of a a rhetorical quest. Like when someone asks "how's it going?". You're not supposed to take the next twenty minutes of your day to tell them how much your life sucks. You say "OK, you?" and that's it. Done and..... done.
As for me I've been, we'll say "busy". Busy doing what? Good question. Just the usual work, gym, weekend thing that my life has become.(don't get older kids, stay here as long as you can) It's alright though, I could have it way worse. It seems like that if you listen and/or watch the news then you might start to think that everyone but you is out of a job, and having one has become almost a luxury. Times sure have changed haven't they? I'm glad we started this entry off on a positive not, aren't you?(yes, yes you are)
Random things I've been thinking about:
- Why is everyone else on the road and asshole and terrible driver/person but me? I'm serious. Apparently turn signals really mean "hurry up and pass me, but by all means do not let me over". To make it worse the same ass-hat that passed you will then turn their blinker on because they want YOU to let THEM over. Just face it, we live in a world full of self-absorbed idiots.
-Ugg boots, short shorts and a sweat shirt? Really California? Really?! I'm not going to go into how much sense this doesn't make. I could talk about that for hours. I will tell you how ugly/stupid it looks though.
-When I'm looking for a parking spot at a shopping center or busy store I sit and the entrance to the aisle and wait for someone to leave, thus blocking other people from coming in behind me and also preventing me from driving in circles and getting frustrated by not being able to find a G-D place to park. Seems like an easy enough concept, right? It is until there are a line of idiots behind you with their blinkers on trying to go down the aisle you're blocking and honking their horns.
-Why does it take the same amount of time to receive a regular cup of coffee from Starbucks as it does to order a $6 sugar infused mixed drink "coffee" cluster F? All I want is a regular coffee, Black, no cream, no sugar, no waiting.
-Are things that people do to "go green" really working? Or is it just BS? I recycle paper, plastic and aluminum which pretty much adds up to a lot of beer bottles and cans. I don't use plastic bags, I get paper bags and use then for recycling where they also get recycled. My point is, stop jamming this other crappy ideas down my throat. Besides, these people are all hypocrites. Just the other day I was driving home from the park and ride(Yes, I take public transit. Just another way I am saving the earth) when I saw a woman driving a Prius (one of the 10 million in California) throw her candy wrapper out the window. SHE LITTERED!!! You lose at the game of life.
-Head phones were invented so that you could listen to your music or whatever in privacy. Please stop misusing this great invention by blasting them so loud that I can clearly hear your terrible music. Also: just because we can't hear your music(ideally) doesn't mean we can't hear you [attempt] to sing. Shut up already.
-Dear idiots that call in to sports radio shows: "[other team name here] sucks" is not a valid or logical argument. I realize that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but come on. Just because you don't know anything about another team doesn't mean that your team is better than theirs. Besides, Pau Gasol looks like the "fish guy" in "The Empire Strikes Back".
Also, USC is a good team, we get it. But you can barely spell "USC" couldn't get in and if you did you sure as shit couldn't afford to go there. Please, ignorant morons, shut the hell up. LA is not the center of the universe If it were; where you lived would be bulldozed and/or blown up with mass quantities of dynamite and most likely no one would tell you because they don't care and want you to cease to exist (aka die).
Until next time, I'm out.
As for me I've been, we'll say "busy". Busy doing what? Good question. Just the usual work, gym, weekend thing that my life has become.(don't get older kids, stay here as long as you can) It's alright though, I could have it way worse. It seems like that if you listen and/or watch the news then you might start to think that everyone but you is out of a job, and having one has become almost a luxury. Times sure have changed haven't they? I'm glad we started this entry off on a positive not, aren't you?(yes, yes you are)
Random things I've been thinking about:
- Why is everyone else on the road and asshole and terrible driver/person but me? I'm serious. Apparently turn signals really mean "hurry up and pass me, but by all means do not let me over". To make it worse the same ass-hat that passed you will then turn their blinker on because they want YOU to let THEM over. Just face it, we live in a world full of self-absorbed idiots.
-Ugg boots, short shorts and a sweat shirt? Really California? Really?! I'm not going to go into how much sense this doesn't make. I could talk about that for hours. I will tell you how ugly/stupid it looks though.
-When I'm looking for a parking spot at a shopping center or busy store I sit and the entrance to the aisle and wait for someone to leave, thus blocking other people from coming in behind me and also preventing me from driving in circles and getting frustrated by not being able to find a G-D place to park. Seems like an easy enough concept, right? It is until there are a line of idiots behind you with their blinkers on trying to go down the aisle you're blocking and honking their horns.
-Why does it take the same amount of time to receive a regular cup of coffee from Starbucks as it does to order a $6 sugar infused mixed drink "coffee" cluster F? All I want is a regular coffee, Black, no cream, no sugar, no waiting.
-Are things that people do to "go green" really working? Or is it just BS? I recycle paper, plastic and aluminum which pretty much adds up to a lot of beer bottles and cans. I don't use plastic bags, I get paper bags and use then for recycling where they also get recycled. My point is, stop jamming this other crappy ideas down my throat. Besides, these people are all hypocrites. Just the other day I was driving home from the park and ride(Yes, I take public transit. Just another way I am saving the earth) when I saw a woman driving a Prius (one of the 10 million in California) throw her candy wrapper out the window. SHE LITTERED!!! You lose at the game of life.
-Head phones were invented so that you could listen to your music or whatever in privacy. Please stop misusing this great invention by blasting them so loud that I can clearly hear your terrible music. Also: just because we can't hear your music(ideally) doesn't mean we can't hear you [attempt] to sing. Shut up already.
-Dear idiots that call in to sports radio shows: "[other team name here] sucks" is not a valid or logical argument. I realize that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but come on. Just because you don't know anything about another team doesn't mean that your team is better than theirs. Besides, Pau Gasol looks like the "fish guy" in "The Empire Strikes Back".
Also, USC is a good team, we get it. But you can barely spell "USC" couldn't get in and if you did you sure as shit couldn't afford to go there. Please, ignorant morons, shut the hell up. LA is not the center of the universe If it were; where you lived would be bulldozed and/or blown up with mass quantities of dynamite and most likely no one would tell you because they don't care and want you to cease to exist (aka die).
Until next time, I'm out.
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